I am a person that finds faces in things. I find faces in the clouds, car hoods and houses. I like when houses have symmetrical windows in the front and a door placed in the centre to look like a nose. When people around me are dreaming of growing up and buying houses and discussing square footages I have always dreamt of having a house with a bright solid colour front door. When I was younger my great grandfather passed away and I was the oldest Great Grandchild so I got a lot of books. That side of my family emigrated here from Ireland so I inherited books of ships and the Titanic and big, brown, hard cover book that had the most beautiful Irish country side and sunset pictures. I remember looking at pictures of castles wondering if he has been to any of those places or if he had really kissed the blarney stone. Near the back of this book was a page that had 12 pictures of front doors of houses. Every single house had a bright, solid colour front door. I think it is fair to say at the age of 10, that is where my obsession with doors came from.
In the midst of my love for doors I have come into contact with a phrase that bothers me. It hit me about a week ago and I have spent that much time running it through in my head. I think I am safe to say that if you are old enough to be reading this, you are old enough to have had a problem in life. Have you ever noticed some of the “helpful” things people say when you are having a problem? The grass is greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it, it wasn’t meant to be, you’ll get it next time. Be patient, it wasn’t your turn. And my personal biggest pet peeve…When God closes one door, he opens another. Worst thing to say of all time. I know God hasn’t given me a problem with the intention of shutting down my life over it. I would hope not. I know he’s closed a door because it wasn’t my turn and it wasn’t my time. And here I am being selfish and greedy and banging on the closed door. It took me a long time to trust God and his timing. How dare he not think I needed what I wanted? Turns out that things I thought I would die without getting, I didn’t need. Things I never would have thought about have become extremely important.
I AM PART OF THE 'INSTANT GENERATION'. IT HAS TAKEN ME TOO LONG TO REALIZE THE BEAUTY OF TAKING THINGS SLOW.
I have read articles that say things like, “children aren’t born racist, we make them that way”. Which I agree with, there are many things in life that are learned behaviours, and I feel like trust and patience are two of them. Either way, you learn to like them or hate them. Having the patience to trust in the timing of my God’s plans has been hard for me. Doors have swung shut that I thought could have been my fancy red front door and instead I have turned around to see a much less pretty, more basic, neutral coloured door. I have learned I have to earn my way to the dream door. I have to work for it.
One of my biggest personal flaws is that I make myself too busy and I am impatient. I buy things for the quickness of them. Minute rice, instant dry nail polish. I hate watching TV with commercials. I buy lotion that moisturizes for 24 hours and now I carry a battery charger station in my purse. I am part of the “instant generation”. It has taken me too long to realize the beauty of taking things slow. I am learning crafts with my hands now like painting and crocheting. I find myself looking up ways online to learn faster. It is a thought I have to have every day. Slowing myself down.
It makes my skin cringe, and I was trying to think so hard about opportunities and patience. And I can finally say that I have a rebuttal, or at the very least, how the end of the statement should be finished. It should say, when one door closes, another door opens…The doors however aren’t revolving doors, and sometimes it might even be an escape route out a window. You never know how much time there will be between the doors and windows that open and close for you, and sometimes you have to wait. It will be worse than watching paint dry, and people will offer you words of comfort and strength. You will be trying to open doors with lock pics and breaking windows with crow bars, and you still won’t make it through. You won’t make it through because it isn’t what god has planned for you, and you have absolutely nothing to do except but put your faith in him and trust his timing.
HE HAS THE BEST INTENTIONS FOR US AND SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO PUT SOME TIME INTO SOMETHING TO BE AWARDED THE KEY TO THE NEXT DOOR.
This window could be the days between and old job and a new job, the months between lovers or the years between moving houses or cities.
In this instant generation I am a part of I have had to learn to respect the art of prayer and learn that my God isn’t a magic 8 ball or a fortune cookie. He has the best intentions for us and sometimes you need to put some time into something to be awarded the key to the next door. You might feel like you have been walking past hallways of closed doors for a very long time. You are going to start to panic and try banging on the doors. Trust me when I tell you that if it isn’t a part of his plan for you it isn’t going to open. The best part about loving our God who loves us so much is that you are too important to him to have you be stuck in a revolving door. Even though those types of doors are in the entrances to fancy lobbies of possibilities, it isn’t a one size fits all solution.
Just know that when hard times happen and one big fancy door closes on what you thought could happen. There is a much more beautiful door of open opportunities just waiting for you. The trick is waiting gracefully for them to open.
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