By Anthony Portillo
What do you do when you try your best to please someone and you still fall short? What happens when your best isn’t good enough? We have all felt that way at some point or another I’m sure. Whether it’s a teacher, an employer, a family member, or a significant other the truth is we will never be able to satisfy everyone.
In situations like these, the natural impulse is to look at the other person and assume they have an issue that is causing our feelings. This can be dangerous ground to tread on as it can lead us down a road of victimhood. It also takes the attention off of us and places it in an area where we really have no control further perpetuating the cycle of victimhood.
I’d like to suggest two things. Number one, we are the issue. Number two, we have control.
Some people are ornery, some people are just hard to satisfy, and most people have issues of their own that cause them to act a certain way toward others. I am, by no means, saying that you are responsible for someone else’s actions or attitudes but we are responsible for how we respond to them and how we allow them to affect us. Many of us just aren’t settled in who we are, we still have open wounds, we still have unresolved pain and trauma, so we are seeking validation from others. This we never end well.
When we look to others to find our own worth, we will never have a proper self-image, we will never find healing for our hurts, and we will never feel complete. This path will just reinforce those negative emotions and hurts. Wholeness will continue to elude us so long as we look for it outside ourselves. This sounds like bad news and it is! The good news is WE have control!
We can regain control of our mind, will, and emotions. We can connect with Holy Spirit and our inner self and take back the reins of our lives. We can find healing, wholeness, and joy once again. We can shed our victim mentalities and embrace victorious living!
We carry divine DNA. Our relationship with God connects us to our Creator, whose image we bear. Holy Spirit within us bears witness to this connection. When we tap into this connection we will find freedom. We can connect with God in an experiential way. We can learn to communicate with Him and with ourselves, in turn, we will learn to control and properly process our emotions.
This is not an easy journey! When we finally find the time to sit and get quiet we will quickly be confronted with ourselves. We will realize how full of ourselves we truly are, good, bad, or indifferent. This is the beginning of the journey. This is the first step on the path of change. As we confront our internal ghosts we will come to understand what they hide and they will become holy ghosts, instruments of our further transformation.
When we learn to love ourselves, we won’t look to others to find our worth. Further, we will learn how to truly love others without needing their approval or validation. Healing starts inside and it starts with a choice. Choose this day to begin the journey of transformation! An internal revolution! Refuse to settle for anything less than complete joy, peace, and freedom! Refuse to allow others to dictate your worth!
Transformation is possible. The journey will be tough but it will be worth it! You are worth it! You are special! You are enough! Join the Revolution!
Anthony and his wife serve as pastors feeling called to focus on their local community and work in the drug and alcohol recovery and the inner city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. As well, Anthony is the co-host of The Alliance Podcast, which is striving to bring together a variety of voices from different perspectives within the church. Their desire is to engage as many perspectives as possible from leaders all over the church world in hopes that we can start a conversation and promote unity in the Kingdom of God.
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