I wrote an Article last week, a response to a woman who had written in to our 'Ask Anything' section, asking me to write about self confidence in younger girls. I wrote a response that has gotten a good amount of views and I have had some good talks with some of the girls in my life. This blog today is the flip side to my first one. We cannot put so much time and effort into how we feel about our minds, bodies and souls to have another woman come behind us and pull us back down into a state of worry. Let me tell you what happened to me this week.
I am a 24 year old girl who has always struggled with unruly, crazy, curly hair. I have spent insane amounts of money on things to straighten it. Serums, sprays, cremes, very expensive flat irons, etc. It is a daily struggle for me to learn to love my curls. 2 weeks ago I saw a picture of a woman with beautiful curls in the most trendy, short bob I have ever seen. I immediately thought that I could cut my hair that short and feel good about rocking out a trendy curly hair do. I thought about it for a week and asked some friends opinions and then last Saturday I walked into the salon and talked to my hair dresser. We agreed that this was a cut I could wear with the texture of my hair and we let the cutting begin. Almost 7 inches of my hair fell to the floor and I was left with a really cool cut that was the shortest my hair had ever been and I left the salon with my head feeling 5 pounds lighter and feeling amazing.
My blog went up on Thursday, this blog that I had cultivated for over a week to tell the women of my life, young and old that they were beautiful, smart and enough. The day after my blog came out, a woman told me that fat girls should not cut their hair short. I was shocked at how brazen this middle aged woman was as she told me that I didn't have the hair cut she thought I should. The best response I could muster up was "Well, I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion."
We cannot put so much time and effort into
how we feel about our minds, bodies and
souls to have another woman come behind us
and pull us back down into a state of worry.
Now let me say, I am a size 14 in jeans so I am considered to be plus size. I am not ashamed of my body and I am working on losing more weight, as at this time last year I was in a size 18 pant. But still, none of this should concern this woman. I know she can't look at me and know that it was really hard for me to cut my hair and rock out my curls everyday, or that I am on a weight loss journey. Now, I am a fairly self confident person so this one horrible interaction did not break me as a person, but what if this woman had said this to a girl who wasn't as sure about herself?
My last entry was on self confidence, so now this is me telling you, to think about what you say to other people, as you are on a journey of working on yourself. Why would you ever want to say something to another person that is going to tear them down and make them feel unworthy? Why do you want to walk around knowing your words are hurting others? Especially things that are intentional. Intentionally mean, Intentionally hurtful. Things that will make someone walk around for the rest of the day, week, month, feeling terrible about themselves?
There were two ways I could take this entry and I was struggling with it today: I could share some verses with you all about how words can hurt, and even kill. Or I could explain to you that you are made in the image and likeness of God and you are meant to be a part of God's Kingdom on Earth.
Surely you must know that hurting others is not something that God would want you to be involved with. I was sitting today at church and as our Pastor was explaining the message for this morning, he was telling us that often when a person prays they think they are praying up to the heavens' and then God is sending blessings back down to us. While instead, that God is everywhere all the time, so when you pray, your prayers are most often answered by the people around you and that God works miracles through the people in his Kingdom on Earth for you.
It is my hope that when a person wakes up in
the morning it is their intent to help the world.
And if it isn't, it is my hope that their intention
WAS NOT to break down others self worth.
If that is who you are, a member of God's great Kingdom, why would you ever want to be purposefully harmful to another person? My first blog was directed at girls, but this is for everyone girls, boys, women and men alike. You should want to go out into the world and spread love and hope and joy. Mathew 5:14-16 says, "You are the light of the world-like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father." If you are the light of the world, how horrible that you would want to go through life blowing out others flames?
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. (Mathew 7:1-2)
It is my hope that when a person wakes up in the morning it is their intent to help the world. And if it isn't, it is my hope that their intention WAS NOT to break down others self worth.
I don't know how many other ways I can state that I was dissapointed by this woman and her comment, and all the other people who go through their days speaking unkind words.
This weekend also held international woman's day. It is a day to celebrate the incredible women in both past and present, and who are known to us as well as unknown. I want women to take a stand and start being the support each other needs as well as the light the world so desperately seeks. This is not an easy thing to speak about as it affects all of us at one time or another, some more often than others, but once again I would like you to know that you are who you are for a reason, and for that you are special.
You are a child of God, and no hair colour, glasses, faded jeans or extra 5 pounds will ever be able to change that. You get back what you put in to the world, so make sure it is love and hope, instead of poison and darkness.
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