Re-Live Your Adulthood

by Carmen Farmer

Many of us know it is beneficial to re-live your childhood at some point in your adult life. I mean come on- the sand castles, the lego, the trips to the fair or zoo, lemonade stands, riding bikes, climbing trees- we were courageous and carefree! 

Just this morning on my way to my adult job in my adult clothes, driving my adult car, I was caught by the driver next to me singing along to the “happy song”. Yes, and I was actually enjoying myself. Not embarrassed, and not flaunting it or faking it like an idiot. And as he drove past me, I saw the tiny smirk on his face. He did not look over or make eye contact, but that smirk, I thought, was a bit of joy. I glimpse of humour, and maybe even enjoyment of life. I hope that anyone I randomly come across in my day-to-day adult life may be blessed by me. It doesn’t take a lot, but it does need to be genuine. A smile, or a kind word, or gesture can mean a lot. I know it does to me- like holding open the door as I go through with full arms- it helps make a full heart. 

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Have you ever looked back on your old self and laughed? Shook your head? Wondered with sobering thought how you ever made it??

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Now, as I was pondering all this, I acknowledge that not all childhoods were healthy, wholesome or fun. Some of us have unpleasant memories, whether they be one situation, or repeated. And let’s face it, if you are among the majority, you didn’t make it through your teens years unscathed either. In fact, even if our childhoods were sweet, the teen years took over in a bad way. I’m talking about thinking you had it all figured out (we’ve all been there, and if you’re not yet an adult, you’re probably there now), and making some poor decisions that have affected you along the way. Possibly have cost you a lot. I am no exception. 

You see, as I look back on my early years as an adult, I know now that I certainly didn’t fully act like or think like the adult I am today. Years grow wisdom, because wisdom, in part, comes with experience. At 15, we can’t know it all because experience is not yet on our side. And unfortunately, we have to fail sometimes to become more successful at life. And although I can think of some stupid situations I got myself into at 14, they pale in comparison to the worst situations I got myself into at 19! Was I getting dumber?! No. But I was getting more freedom, which is a powerful thing.

Have you ever looked back on your old self and laughed? Shook your head? Wondered with sobering thought how you ever made it??

Life is not safe. Even if we are naive, it still is not. People let us down and hurt us. Even if we pick the “good ones”, they still fail sometimes. It’s called being human. The big question is: Can we have new eyes, to see our adulthood differently? We want so much to always be going somewhere. To see progression. To accomplish. 

In childhood, it is so easy to see! Goals are made for us. You pass kindergarten. You finish elementary school. Congrats to you, now on to junior high. You start and finish your music lessons, your volleyball season, summer camp. You mark milestones like getting your driver’s license and the biggest one- graduation! These are all worthy of celebration.

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We are all people changing from who we used to be and we are all on a journey, a process to becoming better and going further. If we stop learning and growing at the end of our childhood, we are going to be sad, stunted adults.

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Adulthood has it’s celebrations too, though they vary widely from person to person, considering each in their own path & timing. But, adulthood also has, perhaps the biggest pitfalls yet. Whether they are mistakes you make yourself, or things that happen to you, it seems, no one goes through adulthood unscathed. I can remember making a few poor decisions in my early adult years that I still reflect on today. Perhaps, you’ve made mistakes too that you still feel the consequences of. Some people carry their past with them for years, or even decades. Let me ask a question: can a person truly move forward while dragging along their past?  It may not even be something obvious or visible- a way of thinking, a prejudice, self doubt, fear of failure, disrespect for others or authority. 

Let me give an example for you. I spent my entire 20s staying away from alcohol entirely. It was beneficial to those around me and also seemed beneficial to me, after using it too freely it in my late teens as many teenagers do. Now, in my 30s, I am able to enjoy it on occasion with a whole new perspective. I’m still an adult. Did the alcohol change? Of course not. But I certainly did. 

We are all people changing from who we used to be and we are all on a journey, a process to becoming better and going further. If we stop learning and growing at the end of our childhood, we are going to be sad, stunted adults. Adulthood should continue to be a time of growing further, learning more, challenging ourselves and pushing the envelope in our own lives. No longer are goals set for us. Me must make our own. We all have the power to make our days, our years what we want them to be, to take us to where we want to go in life and in our future. 

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Have you ever looked back on your old self and laughed? Shook your head? Wondered with sobering thought how you ever made it??

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Let our self doubt turn into self confidence, and our fears fade away into realized successes! Let our old habits and negative thinking be corrected and not brought along our journey any farther. And most importantly (because this is the one that will hinder us the most), let past hurts and scars be fully healed. Let’s just admit it- we all need healing somewhere. If past regrets get you down, look at them afresh, give them to God, change your perspective and remember that tomorrow is always a new day. 

God wants to restore us to live our full potential as adults in this world, and He wants to give us 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. chances to change and grow further. He gives abundant life! Let our old self die to the new self coming. Every day is a new opportunity. Believe in yourself and in who you want to become. Embrace the ‘now’ you are living in. Embrace change. And give yourself back the power to do it, and enjoy it! You only get one shot at this life!

Perhaps like me, when you look back on your previous years, you don’t want to squander all you have learned since. I want to enjoy my life, be humble and thankful and make wise decisions. In hard times and good times, I want to learn and grow in love and knowledge and self control, even! If you are like me, think about your adulthood with hope. Don’t resent it. Don’t repeat it. Re-live it!