5 minute read
This isn't the post I was expecting to be writing this week, but when things crop up, surprise you, and shake you to your core you gotta write. Let me explain.
Have you ever had one of those quirky social interactions that, in the moment, just feel like a silly little thing but a few moments later end up just crushing you to your core? I had one of those a couple weeks ago. Let me share the story with you.
I'm super-blessed to be a part of a really healthy church. It's not perfect, but my family and I love it. Recently, our church planted a daughter church. There was no split, no conflict that precipitated the plant. We just recognized that at 35 years old, it was time for our church to have kids, so we did. Got a prayer team, prayed, cast a vision, gathered a launch team, found a pastor, and just a couple weeks ago, Q50 Community launched their first services. A handful of families from the home church went with them. One of them, a lighting tech who serves with me on Sunday mornings came to me on his last Sunday and said that he really appreciated working with me and that he'd miss me.
These are the things you just say, culturally.
Then he went a step further and talked about how he always appreciated how calm I was. How I didn't let things get to me and how I was able to roll with the punches when things went pear-shaped. It was really nice of him to say, and because I, like many people, am not good at accepting praise, I redirected: "You say that, but you haven't seen me with my kids!" We laughed, as you do, and went back to work. But I didn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the morning.
I almost broke down in tears more than once during the service.
Here's the truth about what he said: He's right. Anyone who knows me professionally knows this about me. I am hard to rattle, I do take things in stride, and I don't freak out. Professionally at least.
That thing I said about not seeing me with my kids? I said it as a joke, and we laughed like it was a joke, but I wasn't kidding; not really. That realization crushed me. I'm not as cool and collected at home as I am at work. Some of my closest friends have never seen me genuinely angry, but my wife has, my kids sure have.
That ain't right.
I recognize that things aren't really equal, work, church, and home are three different things, with three different dynamics, and the challenges I face at work, for example, are far different than dealing with an obstinate 7-year-old, whiny 4-year-old, or non-stop 3-year-old. But that doesn't excuse it. My wife and kids deserve the best version of me, the coolest, calmest, most collected-est version of me; not the leftovers from a long, stressful day.
I don't share this because I want anything, I'm not being vulnerable because I'll get something out of it in the end. I'm doing it because I want to encourage you to do something. Be mindful of those little social moments, because sometimes, God uses them to crush you with the weight of a thousand bricks, or your own sin. But He's doing it for your good, and His glory, so listen up.
As a Biblical conservative, a cultural Liberal, a husband, a dad, and a pastor, I want to see the church act differently in the world. My big passion in ministry is to see how believers can bring the Gospel into the world around them while pursuing the lost art of winsomeness. It is what fuels me and drives me to write. Engaging culture with the truth of the Gospel in a way that is winsome, wise, and as Colossians 4:6 directs us: “seasoned with salt.” It’s my hope that what I say here helps you not only in your own faith, but helps you share it more effectively and fruitfully.
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