by Charlotte O 1 Lord, you have seen what is in my heart. My apartment complex has a security guard, or I should say three security guards who have rotating shifts so that there is always someone on duty. Now what those duties actually are, I’m somewhat unsure of; but they are probably posted somewhere in Chinese. They range from buzzing guests in and receiving the mail, to mopping the floor and sometimes even helping take out the garbage. I don’t actually know their Chinese names either, but in my mind, I refer to them as “The Talkative one”, “The Kind one” and “The Lazy one”. The talkative one loves to chat with me about the weather, and as far as I can tell, he’s up on all the neighborhood gossip. He can be helpful sometimes, but is often somewhat distracted. The kind one has helped me on a number of occasions, such as when I locked myself out of my apartment (top 10 in single people’s worst fears), and never fails to open the door for me when I’m coming home with my arms full of groceries. He’s a kind, elderly man who does his job, though I don’t know how “safe” I’d feel if someone bad was trying to get into the building… The third one, well, his title is self-explanatory. I’ve rarely see him do anything but sleep, and even when he’s awake, never smiles or replies to my greetings, and I doubt he’d even open the door for his own grandmother. Ok, well maybe I’m getting a little hyperbolic in my descriptions, but I got to thinking the other day, that these men (especially the “talkative one”) do observe my going out and coming in, and probably know my regular routine better than anyone, especially since, for most of the day, they don’t have anything better to do! The God I have experienced in my life leads and guides and speaks. I think if we really took the above verses to heart, it would give us pause. We have a God who wants to be present in every facet of our lives. He’s not waiting in our churches for us to show up on Sunday mornings. He is watching and waiting. He’s calling. But so often we act as though God is in a position similar to that of my security guards. Maybe he likes to be involved sometimes, and we can meet him during certain “mountaintop” moments when he feels like coming for a chat, but can he really be trusted? Or maybe we view him as the kindly old man who might try his best to help us sometimes, but really doesn’t have much power. Or maybe your experience of God thus far has been more like the third example. Maybe you’ve been wondering why he can’t be bothered to show up and help you, or whether he even cares.
These ‘gods’ couldn’t be further from the God of the Bible who loves with an everlasting love, fights for his people, and brings the dead back to life. The God I have experienced in my life leads and guides and speaks. How would your life, your day, your next hour be different if you really acknowledged the reality of God’s presence, his knowledge of your actions and your heart? Maybe it’s more comfortable for us to pretend God is one of the above caricatures who isn’t paying close attention because we don’t want to admit that we need to change. I want the promise of God’s presence to be a source of courage and comfort, and maybe that means I need to remind myself of it every time I walk past that security desk. What can you do to be more connected to God in the every day?
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The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.’ // Deut. 31:8 This is one of the first verses I ever memorized. I was working at a bible camp in northern Alberta, Canada for the summer. Each week I would have a whole new cabin full of boys and each week we would work through memorizing a bible verse a day to gain points for our cabin in hopes to be the overall winner of the camp that week. Deut 31:8 would be the first verse we would have to teach the kids and at this point in my life, I was terrible at memorizing anything. Don't get me wrong, I could remember something long enough to recite it for a play or a test, but after I was done needing it, for the task at hand, I was done needing it at all. Maybe it was the purpose behind why I was memorizing, but it seemed to never stick. But, this verse did. It may have been the fact that every week in the summer I would be memorizing and reciting the words alongside the kids, or maybe the words just decided to stick in my head. Either way, this has been a verse that has stayed with me for over a decade now. It is one of those verses you could claim as a life verse, something you come back to as a reminder of who God really is, in His true character. It is a reminder that not only is God a god who is outside of space and time and foresees all things, working all things out-- the good and bad, the evil and pure, distorted and innocent-- into something that at the end of all ages, will be weaved into something beautiful, whole, restored and purposeful. But, He is also a God that doesn't leave us on our own to figure it out... no He is a God that goes with us. He gets His hands dirty, gets right there beside us and walks with us, toils with us and in some cases, carries us through. As the author of Hebrews puts it: For we do not have a high priest who is unable to feel sympathy for our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way See, even though God is so much greater and outside the reality of this cosmos and our comprehension, He chose to become one of us. To walk with us, be with us, be one of us, save us and show us the way home. He became the High Priest that deals with our sin and also the sacrifice that would pay for it ultimately. He chose LOVE, when He could have given judgement, because this is who He is. He would shame violence, death and sin by taking this violence, death and sin onto himself and ultimately dealt with it. Jesus knew the plan from the start... He knew the beginning and the end because He is the beginning and the end. But, he doesn't simply leave us a road map and expect us to do it on our own. No, he wrote the way, is the way and came down, making the ultimate sacrifice and shows the way. Even when we feel most alone and desperate, we are not. Even when it seems that God is so far away and nowhere to be found, he is right there beside us, walking us through the valley, through the darkness--be it through His presence, His word, or His people. We are never alone. Though you may not be able to trust your circumstances or even this world, you can trust Him and His character (even when you can't see it). See, He has already gone before you, He knows the path ahead and He will be with you. He will never leave you, nor forsake you. And when we look towards the skies of heaven, we can be reminded of the ultimate hope we have in the Cross and the person of Christ and never have to be afraid or discouraged. This doesn't mean life won't be hard or without it's challenges, and in some cases great tribulations. But we can be reminded, even when we least feel it, that God is right there beside us, guiding us through and calling us home--feeling every hurt and pain and struggle. And know that no matter what this current situation throws our way, it can never compare to what God is planning for us at the end of this crazy journey. Psalm 23 I have said it before and I will say it again. We can learn so much from our kids. It can seem so funny to think, we have the responsibility of raising these little people (spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically) and we do so much more by our actions then we do our words. But isn't it funny, that so often we find ourselves learning so much more from them? My son has this phrase he says, "I Have Hearts In My Eyes". Basically what he means is: what I am looking at right now I am overflowing with love for. It is one of the most endearing and coveted things to hear from him when he is speaking of you. It melts our hearts when my wife and I hear it. He gently grabs your face with both hands, looks into your eyes and says, with all the sincerity of a four year old, "Daddy, I have hearts in my eyes". What caught my attention about this sentence was the literal phrasing of it. It made me think about how we see the world. Do we see the world through the lens of love? Love for God and a Love that comes from God; Love for others; and Love for this life we have been given. Look at what the Apostle John says in his letter (1 John 4): My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God. // The Apostle John ![]() Imagine what would happen if we were driven by this kind of Love? I mean real, life changing, shocking, unhinged, wasteful, radical, crazy Love. The kind of Love that changes perspectives, situations and ultimately people. The kind of Love that is fuelled by the crazy, radical, unhinged, ultimate Love shown to us by God through Jesus, His life and the Cross. Imagine what would happen if we saw the world through the lens of that Love...God's Love. That we actually looked different because we had a supernatural experience with the God who not only shows this Love, but literally moves heaven and earth to seek and to save, to redeem and remake, to bring back his lost sons and daughters and re-instills the worth that belongs to his greatest masterpiece... us. What if people started to live like this Love actually blows away everything we knew as reality and shatters all our presuppositions about our identity, worth, this world and how we see it? What would that look like? What if we lived through this paradigm of Love? See, I think once we start to see the world with God's heart in our eyes we can see the real possibility that the supernatural work of Grace and it's power can actually change the world, one person at a time... one action at a time... one changed life at a time. Truly, it seems impossible that anyone who could have such a supernatural experience with this supernatural loving God would be able to walk away from that experience the same person. This life changing, shocking, unhinged, wasteful, radical, crazy Love that we experienced would be beating in our hearts, flowing through our veins and this heart of radical, wasteful, unhinged Love would be in our eyes, changing the way we view ourselves, our friends and family, our neighbours, our enemies, this world and all of reality. See, I think once we start to see the world with God's heart in our eyes we can see the real possibility that the supernatural work of Grace and it's power can actually change the world, one person at a time... one action at a time... one changed life at a time. So, let us learn from the youngest of us and say to our heavenly Father, "Daddy, I have hearts in my eyes"--for Him, ourselves and this world. If This Article Caught Your Attention, You May Also Be Interested In “What is your advice for someone who knows they need to experience a spiritual breakthrough, but hasn't been able to? For example, someone who is stuck in a sinful habit or in bondage to fear or anxiety. Maybe they currently go to church, pray, etc but are still unable to experience the victory they desire.” We received this question from one of our readers and to be honest I stopped reading after the first line. I was stuck reading it over and over again, for some reason I just couldn’t move past the first sentence. I sat down to ponder this out, what would I say, would I use an analogy? Would I get theoretical about it? My brain went into a bit of overload. I started to write my answer and after three lines immediately backspaced… I didn’t like how it sounded. Again and again this happened, I would write a little and delete a lot, until there was the blank page that I started with. I began playing with cool fonts, different colours, bold, italic, underline, line through text, little bit of column ‘A’ followed by some of column ‘B’. It’s not that I don’t know the answer to the question but I don’t think that the answer I have is the one this person wants to hear (but let’s be honest, has that ever stopped me before?). I wonder, at the end of the day, if it is in fact a spiritual breakthrough that this person needs… or do they just need some self-discipline. This was confirmed by my own struggle that I have been going through the past week or so since I began writing this response. I’ve been feeling a little lost, wishing and hoping for that kick in the butt we tend to see as a ‘breakthrough’… and then last night, it happened. There were tears, it wasn’t pretty, there was frustration, there was even a little bit of anger but let me tell you this… It was no “spiritual” breakthrough. It was a dose of reality. I have been feeling very spiritually disconnected, stagnant really. I know that my relationship with Christ wasn’t disintegrating but I sure knew that it wasn’t growing either. After a conversation with one of my best friends about the amazing Church service they had that morning, something inside me broke down. My heart hurt, my head hurt and needless to say jealously made its way into my emotional head space. I wanted to feel that again, I wanted to feel filled and joyful and exuberant and excited and fuelled and, just, LOVE my church and my God and my Faith and I wanted to feel like I could no longer hold it IN!!!! Like I had once felt a year or so ago. My bestie left for the night and I broke down in front of my husband. I was sick and TIRED of feeling empty and not challenged in my faith. I began to search for the answer (out loud of course and through streaming tears) in “blaming” my new church, how I yearned for the ways of my old church and the style I was used. And then the “breakthrough” came. Like I said it was not spiritual, it was DEFINITELY God, but I wouldn’t say it was spiritual. It was Doug, my husband. “Jen. You know that you can’t put this on church, you need to take some responsibility for this” I just stared at him, tears continuing to stream down my cheeks (because at this point, as any girl knows, they just don’t stop). He was right, right as rain. I am very aware of how I won’t ever be able to break emotional, spiritual or even physical chains on my own but that’s why God gives us the very tools that we need to succeed. I think we tend to confuse a Spiritual Breakthrough with a personal realization and they don’t tend to happen at the exact same time, in fact, it is usually one that leads to the other. My personal emptiness had nothing to do with our church (which I love and am so happy we found), it has nothing to do with the different worship styles, although both of those things could definitely play a factor in spiritual growth. But ultimately, this was a me thing. If I want to feel close to God I need to take some steps forward and not expect Him to do all of the work. It could be as “simple” as checking my heart as I go to church; am I there to worship God in all of His Glory or be filled myself? Or maybe it’s a matter of challenging myself to dig deeper into God’s word and to do so more frequently. So back to our readers’ question, in light of what I just experienced myself. I don’t believe that, as Christians, we get a spiritual intervention every time we get stuck on a sinful habit or when we are trapped by fear or anxiety. I want you to consider the following: We consider a spiritual breakthrough as a time when we want God to speak to our hearts directly, so direct that it immediately instigates a change in our behaviour, our self-discipline, our determination, our thought process, etc. We expect to experience this revelation through a Worship experience whether at church on Sunday or at a revival of sorts (like a conference), while listening to a pastor or singing during a music set. But when that doesn’t happen our world begins to crumble and we begin to feel deserted. What we rarely turn to first is the very physical, very present, word of God. The Bible. The very word of God that exists on our bedside table, coffee table, dusty bookshelf and even in our phones yet we seek it out as a last (sometimes not even that) resort. If you want your breakthrough, SEEK to BREAK THROUGH whatever you feel is holding you back. I tend to view these things as shackles or chains because visualizing things helps me to focus on dismantling them. I am very aware of how I won’t ever be able to break emotional, spiritual or even physical chains on my own but that’s why God gives us the very tools that we need to succeed. As a child of God, He will ALWAYS be faithful to you even when your faith wavers. We need to constantly remind ourselves that just because we don’t feel God during a season of our lives does not mean He is not there. 1. His Word God did not send us out into this world empty handed, we have the privilege of learning from those who came before us (trial and error style), not to mention a full book of direct quotes on life! I bet if you sat down with a Bible that you would be able to get the very answers you seek, the difficulty most people have is that usually the answer is not on the first page they look at. These days we have an assistant when it comes to the Bible… it’s called Google. There are many credible, amazing websites that can help guide you to Bible verses if you don’t know where to start. Here are just a couple of examples to give you a glimpse of what kind of wisdom the Bible holds. Isaiah 54:17 (NIV) Once you find a verse (or five) that speak to you. Write it on a piece of paper, make it as fancy as you want, and post it on your bathroom mirror, on your bedroom wall, put reminders in your fridge for when you get milk for your cereal in the morning, on the back of your door as you head out the house, on your pillow before you go to sleep. PUT THEM EVERYWHERE to remind yourself of the faithfulness of our God and how through HIM you can conquer all things. 2. His Faithfulness Do you remember the poem Footprints? Many of you know it and can almost recite it since it’s been plastered on every wall, painting, background, mug, bookmark, bumberstickers, etc. I want to draw your attention to the last stanza, “Why, When I have needed you most Hear me when I say this, write it on your heart. As a child of God, He will ALWAYS be faithful to you even when your faith wavers. We need to constantly remind ourselves that just because we don’t feel God during a season of our lives does not mean He is not there. "If we are faithless, he remains faithful – for he cannot deny himself" (2 Timothy 2:13 ESV) This may mean that during this time WE need to take some responsibility for our growth. Pedal to the medal, nose to the grind, elbow grease and all the rest. However, just because I’ve said this out loud does not make the season any easier to get through, trust me, I’ve been through a dry season myself and by far it was one of the most difficult times of my life. Yet, it was also one of the most rewarding times. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:11-13 ESV) Stand firm on the promises of God. Let that be your mantra, even if you have to start talking to yourself in your car on the way to work or on the way home from work… or both (like me). Seek Him daily, whether by prayer or diving into His word. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT) God Promises to walk with us and He promises to fight beside us… but this means we must be ready, nay, WILLING to fight. 3. His People Exposing our faults to others can be one of the scariest things on this planet. The idea that they would have access to sins that we keep well hidden from the rest of society is terrifying, the ultimate feeling of vulnerability. However, God places people in our lives for a reason, people with life experience who have most likely been through something that you are going through, and if they haven`t I guarantee that they know someone who has. This is the one time you will ever hear me encourage you to use people. Seek out people that you trust in your life or in your church and confide in them. Let them help bear your burden but ultimately, let them be there for you as you struggle through the ups and downs of breaking chains. They are also an amazing source of accountability. If you are truly ready to move on to the next chapter of your life, breaking those chains and throwing them away never to pick them up again… you will need someone to slap your hands every time you reach for them again. So how do we attain that “Spiritual” breakthrough? In the end, it comes down to you. God Promises to walk with us and He promises to fight beside us… but this means we must be ready, nay, WILLING to fight. If you are not willing to fight then you will not experience the victory over the sinful habits and temptations that you are facing because God is not going to do it for you, nor should He. "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." (1 Corinthians 10:13) The battle can be won, are you willing to fight?
by Charlotte O With the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge seemingly coming to a close, as a viral sensation, I wanted to take a few moments to look back and talk about it all. Love it or hate it, admire its ability to spread the message or sick of the videos (literally) flooding your news feed, the ALS ice bucket challenge has brought a lot of issues to light. But one that seems to be less discussed is generosity and what it really means to be generous. Does donating to a charity make you generous? Are you less generous if you tell the whole world about it via video? Should we all be donating toward clean water instead? A question I’ve been asking myself lately is will I ever really regret being generous? A few weeks ago while I was walking down the street with my family, a couple in a car approached us with a complicated story about how and why they needed money. One person gave them what little cash they had and we sent them on their way, later wondering if they had been legit. If you decide that you aren’t going to regret being generous, then it doesn’t really matter whether or not they were telling the truth. Because generosity says a lot more about you than it does about the other person. So maybe the real question we can ask is: Will you regret not being generous? If you want to test your motive for giving, give a lot and give in secret. Give to those who can or will never repay you. Whenever you start wondering if someone deserves to be the object of your generosity, you have already stopped being generous. If your giving is based on what they do for you it becomes cheap and shallow. If you only treat someone for a meal because they treated you last time than it's simply repayment in a very transactional relationship, which is not love. Love keeps no record of wrongs. It doesn't remember that that person didn't pay for gas or get you a Christmas present. A lack of generosity also reveals a lot more about you than it does the other person. As one of the most generous people I know once told me: if you want to test your motive for giving, give a lot and give in secret. Give to those who can or will never repay you. A lack of generosity shows a lack if security. We are less likely to give if we are afraid we will never get more. When we forget that everything we have is a gift and start feeling entitled to everything we have worked for, we tend to be characterized by greed rather than generosity. One of history’s wealthiest men had a lot to say on the matter: Give freely and become more wealthy; be stingy and lose everything. The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. People curse those who hoard their grain, but they bless the one who sells in time of need. If you search for good, you will find favor; but if you search for evil, it will find you! Trust in your money and down you go! But the godly flourish like leaves in spring. (Proverbs 11:24-28, NLT) The more firmly we hold the things we have in our grip, the less we can actually enjoy them. With possessions we need to learn to cherish things without holding on to them too tightly. Sometimes holding onto stuff turns into missed opportunities for generosity too. That iPod shuffle you haven't listened to in months or longer? I bet you know a kid who would be absolutely thrilled if someone gave them their first iPod as a gift. When we realize that we are blessed in order to become a blessing to others, we start to look for opportunities for generosity, and discover that is brings so much more joy than hoarding ever could.
If you’re wondering where to start, here are some suggestions I’ve heard and maybe even hope to try. - next time you eat out with a group, pay the whole bill - or leave an extra-large tip, even if the service wasn’t great - at the grocery store, splurge on a few of your favorite luxury items (you know the GOOD toilet paper) and leave them in the food bank box - give something anonymously - find something in good condition in your home that you don’t use often and give it away - pay for an entire tank of gas instead of just contributing a few dollars - pay for the person behind you at a drive-through Maybe we can start a “generosity challenge”. Though it might be best if we didn’t make videos about it. It is hard to measure how well a blog does by anything else other than the number of hits it receives from the readers. But a cool thing is when you as the readers write in to us. I take that to mean you like our writing and you actually feel like you get something out of it, so you have started to write in with topics and questions. I am now in possession of one of those questions; A woman wrote in asking to talk about breaking up from a serious relationship. As it just so happens, I am your resident writer with the most recent heartbreak experience, so I have become your voice for this topic! First off if you are reading this and your heart is broken. I'm genuinely sorry. It just sucks. There are very few positives when it comes to break ups and the truth is, when it first happens you aren't looking for them. You are sad and hurt and you don't know how you will get out of bed in the morning. Let me share some good news with you though, you will get out of bed. You will get up tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. When your heart feels so dark and heavy, the sun will rise and shed some light on the darkness and you will awaken from the sadness. I am a very different person than that girl who had to pick herself up off the ground. For more than 5 years I had been a part of a unit and then all of sudden I was sent back out into the world as a party of 1 Almost a year and a half ago I went through a week of fighting with my fiance that ended in our engagement being broken and him moving out. Now, I'm going to tell you what my mom told me that first night. As she basically picked me up off the floor in a mess of tears and tissues, she told me that this was for the best and after time passes it won't hurt as much. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my mom. But when any person is having what I can only describe as a panic attack, being told that in a years time it won't hurt as much really doesn't seem helpful. You want something right that second to take away the pain, to put the pieces of your heart back together and to make you feel like the sun might still rise tomorrow. Here it comes...and you're going to hate me...time really is a great healer. A lot of healing and growing and learning has gone into the last 18 months of my life, but I don't feel the way I did that Sunday night months ago. I am a very different person than that girl who had to pick herself up off the ground. For more than 5 years I had been a part of a unit and then all of sudden I was sent back out into the world as a party of 1. So, I have learned a thing or two about what it means to have a serious break up and what it means to be single in 2014. Here we go; 1) You are going to be sad. You are going to want to cry at the drop of a hat when someone says something to you or you hear a song that you shared with your ex. You know what? Short of being at work, cry when you feel like crying, don't feel like you need to hold it in. On the flip side of that, if you are having a moment of joy then by all means go be happy! Get dressed and go out and have a drink or a fancy coffee, go see a movie, go dancing even! Basically point number one is that you are going to feel a wide range of emotions and I want you to live them out! 2) A strong person knows when they need to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. If you have someone you can reach out to, do it. Otherwise I have learned that there are many avenues available to you through work or government benefits. Needing help does not signal weakness, it is only a signal that you are a human being and not a super hero. 3)The hidden joy of being single is not having to check in with another person, the opportunity to explore interests you have that are unique to you. Want to take a painting class? Do it! Want to buy a new instrument and take a lesson? Do it! Always wanted to take a trip? Take a single vacation and go lay on the beach at an all inclusive place with baby blue water and white sand. When you are an adult who is single you really don't have many things to be responsible for besides maybe a job and pet. This is the time to rediscover what truly and honestly makes you happy. When my life felt upside down I got a new hobby, took a new job and found a church that I am absolutely in love with. All things that make me happy and I have to only answer to myself about them. The more busy you stay, the less time you will have to focus on and pick apart what just happened in your life. Stay busy and look forward to new things. Getting over the past is hard, especially when you are mentally stuck there. 4) I felt extremely lonely for the first while. I was painfully aware that I was a single girl who felt like she had no one. I knew I had a supportive family and a good group of friends I could rely on, and even then I went through periods of great loneliness. During the process of starting over, I spoke to a professional counsellor once when the break up was still new. What she explained to me was that of course you are going to miss the person you broke up with, you can't stop loving someone like you can turn off a light switch. But she also told me that a lot of the feelings I had were because I was also mourning the loss of a dream. Of the dreams and hopes I had had for my future and how it was all going to be different now. Which makes so much sense right? You live with someone and you grow with them and you plan out what you think your life will look like, and then all in an instant it evaporates. I refer to point one, you are allowed to be sad. 5) I also want you to wait to make extreme choices. It is true when you hear people say that you will feel different in the morning, and you will say things in sadness and anger you can't take back. It is the same with decisions; maybe you need to figure out new living arrangements, maybe you shared a pet. These are things you need to take a beat and think about. If you are in an unsafe situation then get out immediately, otherwise try to be as rational as you can in your upset state. I cannot promise you that you will be the same person you were before the break up, because what happens to us is what shapes us Those are my 5 survival tips for a break up. Besides staying hydrated because if you
cry, you need to replenish water faster! I know that everyone deals with hardships differently and in now way is there every going to be a full list to get you through it that makes sense to everyone. All I can tell you is this is going to be a period of self love for you. Go to bed on time, get some rest, eat on a regular basis (I struggled with this one, if it wasn't for family and co workers I would have survived on coffee alone for the first few weeks). People are going to tell you in time it will get better, and its true. There will be a time when you wake up in the morning and you don't think of the life you were going to have and the person you had it with. There will come a morning when you wake up and you feel excited to have this day and all possibilities that could happen. I cannot promise you that you will be the same person you were before the break up, because what happens to us is what shapes us. What I can promise you is the life and happiness you once felt will come back, and the you will keep going to sleep at night and waking up in the morning and you will forge a new plan and slowly forget your old one. It might not feel like it right now, but it really is going to be okay. |
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February 2019
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